Good Advice

“Think positively. Even if you’re wrong, think positively.” When my grandfather gave me this advice in eighth grade, I do not know if he predicted how long-lasting his words would be to me. I certainly did not realize that I would find his advice to be so significant years later.

I no longer remember the exact circumstance under which Grandpa gave me this advice, but I know that at the time, I was feeling frustrated with several aspects of my life. I may have been talking to him about not wanting to go to school because it was boring and my teachers were ineffective, or I could have been disappointed about my friends causing unnecessary social drama. In any case, I expressed to him my disappointment and my suspicion that matters would not soon improve. And he told me, “Think positively. Even if you’re wrong, think positively.” Being in a bad mood at the time, I did not easily accept this advice. I would never have openly contradicted my grandfather, but it seemed stupid to try to convince myself that everything was going well when it simply was not. Lying to myself, I thought, could never improve a situation. So I chose to ignore Grandpa’s advice, adopting a relatively pessimistic outlook on life; every time something, however insignificant, went wrong, it added to my frustration and negativity.

Around the same time, someone who was very close to me began to show signs of depression. Initially, her symptoms were no different from my own general attitude: pessimism, frustration, and an inability or unwillingness to see the good in things. But her depression worsened and I saw that she needed to somehow stop the flow of negative thought. I also saw how controlling her pessimism had become and I feared that I was headed down the same path as her. I was reminded of Grandpa’s emphasis on thinking positively and suddenly I understood the real meaning of his advice. Grandpa was not suggesting that I begin lying to myself in an effort to trick myself into false optimism; rather, he saw the necessity of breaking a cycle of negative thought at all costs. Even if the break in the cycle were forced, not the result of true optimism, it at least allowed room for sincere optimism to develop. Forcing oneself to initially break the habit of thinking negatively may include a small untruth, but allowing pessimism to continue uninhibited causes a more persistent and harmful form of lie as our own perception of the good and bad in life becomes skewed.

With the meaning of Grandpa’s advice in mind, then, I began to force myself to consider the most positive aspects of my life. Maybe I did not like one of my teachers, but at least I could look forward to learning about a cool topic in class or taking part in a lively class discussion. And as I forced myself out of routine pessimism, I saw that overall, things were not so bad. Yes, I had my share of problems to deal with, but an optimistic outlook helped me to better handle them. Meanwhile, my depressed friend had a difficult time breaking her cycle of unhappiness. Unwilling to see the good in anything or even try to convince herself to be positive in order to break the cycle of pessimism, she took a long time to finally become happy again and regain the optimism that is necessary to surviving the less enjoyable aspects of life.

When I was first told, “Think positively. Even if you’re wrong, think positively,” I almost discarded the advice, thinking it would simply encourage fakeness, but I later came to see just how important this advice is. What Grandpa really meant was, “Don’t let yourself habitually think negatively. Even if you have to consciously force yourself out of it, never let yourself get stuck in a cycle of negative thinking.” Having figured out exactly what Grandpa’s advice meant and having begun the process of optimism, I never again reverted to constant pessimism. This year, I have again faced sources of frustration both in academics and in my social life. And while I cannot ignore these problems, I can prevent them from overtaking me by bearing in mind the positive aspects of my life. So thank you, Grandpa, for telling me to think positively.